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[The screen turns black
then the IWA logo slowly fades in. “Amped” by Grip Inc. begins playing.
Several clips roll of several IWA superstars. Primetime, Skillz, Venom,
Hart, Michaels, Ant, Hardy, all are shown. We’re then taken inside
Madison Square Garden. The camera pans the ecstatic crows getting shots
of the hundreds and hundreds of signs. The fans are then treated to a
spectacular display of fireworks exploding above the ring and on the
stage. We’re then greeted for the first time by Bobby “the Brain” Heenan
as Amped still plays softly.]
Heenan: Hello everyone and welcome to I-W-A Amped! I’m Bobby Heenan here
with Jerry “the King” Lawler and Jim Ross! What a show we have for you
tonight! Two titles are up for grabs and we have a triple threat match
scheduled. But first, here’s your CEO Chris Mathews announcing our very
first IWA pay-per-view!
[“Chop Suey” hits in the arena. CEO Chris Mathews steps out onto the
stage to a tremendous ovation. Mathews smiles big as he adjusts the tie
of his very expensive tailor made suit. He puts the mic to his lips and
waits for the fans to quiet. When they finally do, his theme cuts off.]
Mathews: Well let me be the SECOND to welcome you all to IWA Amped!
[The crowd lets out an excited cheer.]
Mathews: This is the first show in what I personally promise will be a
long line of excellent shows. Why? Because I’m devoted to bring you, the
viewer, the most entertaining product I possibly can. Part of that meant
spending a little money. And spend I did. I acquired some of the most
talented performers on the wrestling circuit today and they’re here to
entertain you and you alone. Guys like… Thunder.
[The crowd cheers.]
Mathews: Primetime Sanders.
[The crowd cheers again.]
Mathews: Jeff Hardy.
[More cheers.]
Mathews: Owen Hart
[More cheers.]
Mathews: Shawn Michaels.
[Cheers yet again.]
Mathews: And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. So people, sit back,
grab the beverage of your choice, and enjoy the show… But before I go, I
have a little business to discuss…
[Mathews gives the fans the ole dramatic pause.]
Mathews: That business… The first ever IWA pay-per-view!
[The fans cheer again.]
Mathews: Our first pay-per-view will come at you on the 3rd of next
month and will be entitled…
[Again Mathews inserts a dramatic pause.]
Mathews: IWA Impact!
[The crowd pops.]
Mathews: I felt it was the only logical choice to first show you what
the IWA slogan stands for. You’ll all soon find out just what IWA Impact
is all about. But you didn’t come here to listen to me talk all night…
So lets get to our first match.
[“Chop Suey” again hits in the arena. CEO Mathews turns and returns to
the backstage area.]
Bobby Heenan - Jenny is
backstage! Leeeeeeeets take a look!
Jerry Lawler - Puppies!
*Jenny, Shawn Michael's wife is sitting in a chair in a lockerroom, she
is holding a newspaper in front of her. Soon, Venom can be seen walking
down the hall he goes into the dressing room. He nears Jenny, Jenny
sticks out her foot and Venom falls to the floor. Jenny puts the paper
down and looks to the floor*
Jenny - Oops, Venom! I didn't know you were there.
Venom - Why'd you do that!?
Jenny - I didn't mean too.
Venom - Yes you did! You deliberately stuck your foot out and tripped
me!
Jenny - No I didn't! What are you doing in the women's locker room
anyway?
Venom - Are you insulting me??
Jenny - No, I'm just asking.
Venom - Well this locker room is new to me.. There's not even any women
in this federation.
Jenny - What the hell do you think I am?
Venom - Your not a wrestler.
Jenny - Yes I am!
*Shawn Michaels walks onto the scene*
Shawn Michaels - Is there a problem, ladies?
Jenny - This big grunt came into the women's locker room and was spying
on me!
Shawn Michaels - Venom? Spying on a girl? Naaaaw....
Venom - Your woman tripped me!
Jenny - It was an accident! I wasn't expecting any visitors.
Shawn Michaels - Venom, until you have an operation, you stay out of
here.
Venom - Until I have an operation? Are you insulting me?
Shawn Michaels - *Backs up towards the door*.... YES! YOU HOMO! HOMO
HOMO HOMO HOMO HOMO HOMO HOMO TEXAS HOMOPHOBIAN! QUEER! FAGGET! YOUR
DOING JACK-@#%$! AAAAH HAHAHA! QUEER!
Venom - *turning red* YOU @#%$!!!!
*Venom dashes towards the door and grabs Shawn, he throws him up against
one of the lockers and starts hammering him in the stomach. Venom grabs
Shawn's neck and lifts him up. Shawn kicks Venom in the chest, then trys
to spear him but Venom pushes Shawn back into the locker. Out of nowhere
Jenny hits Venom in the back with a steel chair. Venom shakes it off and
turns towards Jenny. Jenny drops the chair. Then from behind Shawn hits
Venom in the knee. Venom almost falls over, he turns around and catches
Shawn with a jab to the throat. Shawn goes back. Then starts trading
punches with Venom, Venom gets Shawn by the neck again. *
Jim Ross - He's going to kill Shawn!
Jerry Lawler - No he won't!
Bobby Heenan - Hey looky there!
*Emmitt is shown on Venom's back, Venom backs up from Shawn and trys to
push Emmitt off. Finally Emmitt jumps off. Shawn gets Venom from behind
again. Jenny picks up the chair and ribs Venom with it in the
mid-section. Shawn then hits Venom with Sweet Chin Music. Shawn and
Emmitt start hitting Venom as he's down. Security rushes to the room to
force them off of Venom. The scene fades out.*
Jim Ross - What a brutal attack!
Jerry Lawler - It never would of happened if Venom hadn't gone to
no-mans-land.
Jim Ross - Well next up,
we have The Ant vs. Bazooka vs. Shadow.
Bobby Heenan - WoooooHooooo!
Jim Ross - Fink
Howard Finkle - Coming to the ring at this time, he is a new face to
wrestling fans. This is..... Shadow!
*The fans have mixed reactions as Shadow comes to the ring*
Howard Finkle - And next, BAAAAAAAOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKA!
*The fans have mixed reactions once again as Bazooka walks out and into
the ring.*
Howard Finkle - And last, this is, THE AAAAAAAANT!
*The Ant.... gets mixed reactions on his way to the ring.*
Jerry Lawler - Get em, Bazooka!
Bobby Heenan - NO! Ant will win this.
Jim Ross - Ha, what about the new guy?
Bobby Heenan - .....
[[ The Ant charges at Shadow, spearing him, he starts giving him some
hard lefts and rights. Then out of nowhere Bazooka comes off the top
rope and lands on the both of em. He rolls Ant over for a quick pin but
only gets a 2 count. The Ant and Bazooka start trading punches, with
Bazooka ontop. But Ant equalizes with a kick to the mid section then a
powerbomb. The Ant picks Bazooka up. The Ant and Bazooka lock up, and
from the mat, Shadow low blows Ant then Bazooka takes him up and down
with a stomach crusher. Shadow then lauches himself with a vaulting
bodypress onto Bazooka, but only gets a 2 count. The Ant pulls Shadow up
from behind and does a reverse DDT. ]]
Jerry Lawler - Those reverse DDT's..... so painful.
Bobby Heenan - Go Ant!
[[ Bazooka turns Ant around and starts unloading lefts and rights on
him. The Ant kicks Shadow in the gut, but then Shadow responds with 2
short jabs. The Ant falls up against the ropes, Bazooka nears him but
Ant thumbs him in the eye, Shadow and Ant then lock up, Shadow
over-powers Ant and brings him into the corner, he gives The Ant a hard
chop. He then starts to put Ant on the top rope. Bazooka goes up behind
Shadow and gives him a neckbreaker. He goes for a quick pinfall victory,
but Ant pulls Bazooka up from Shadow. Bazooka hits Ant with a low-blow
on the way up. Then Shadow goes for a roll up but only gets a 2 count.
Shadow gets up and walks over to the ref, he looks pretty pissed off. ]]
Jim Ross - Close fall
Bobby Heenan - This rookie is doing pretty well.
Jerry Lawler - The rookie is going to get his butt whooped!
[[ The Ant grabs Shadow and suplex' him, but Bazooka catches The Ant
with a jab to the mid section. The Ant gasp for air as Shadow gets up.
The Ant and Shadow out of nowhere double-clothesline Bazooka. Bazooka
slowly gets up, Ant and Shadow are now tied up, Shadow thrust Ant onto
his shoulders then doubles him over. Bazooka takes Shadow out with a
full-nelson slam, then hooks him for a pin but only gets a 2 count. The
Ant then hits Bazooka with a running-forearm, Bazooka goes down and Ant
starts to grab his legs, but Shadow hits The Ant in the back of the
head. The Ant turns around and slaps Shadow, Shadow backs up then gets
him with a right hook. Bazooka then takes Ant out from behind with a
clip to the knee, but to only run into a boot from Shadow, Shadow then
puts him up and over with a piledriver. The Ant locks up with Shadow and
double-arms him down. Bazooka then takes the arm of Ant and flips him
over and applys an arm bar. Shadow breaks it up.]]
Jerry Lawler - C'mon Bazooka!
Jim Ross - This is getting interesting.
[[ The Ant gets up and locks up with Shadow, Shadow grabs the Ant's head
and runs it across the ropes then bangs his head into the turnbuckle.
Bazooka hits a bulldog on Shadow and gets another 2 count. Bazooka and
Ant are now trading punches again. The Ant then makes it a test of
strength. Shadow goes to the ropes then jumps in the air and
double-clotheslines the both of them over. ]]
Jim Ross - Wow.
[[ The Ant shoves Shadow down then hits Bazooka with an elbow. Bazooka
grabs Ant from behind and executes a back suplex. Shadow rushes Bazooka
and spears him out of the ring. The Ant then grabs Shadow, and puts him
in the Ant Claw. Shadow taps out. ]]
Fink - And your winner, Theeee Ant!
Jim Ross - The Ant has won!
Jerry Lawler - He wouldn't have won if Bazooka would of been in the
ring! If it was one on one we would of saw Bazooka on top no doubt about
it!
Bobby Heenan - STRIKE!
Jim Ross - Oh shut up....
Revenge is...Vicious!
[A camera clicks on, revealing the spacious office of CEO Mathews. The
camera pans out a bit more to reveal Mr. Mathews and DVD sitting at
Mathews' desk. Mathews hands DVD a pen and slides a clipboard across the
desk. DVD picks up the clipboard and shows the camera that on the
clipboard is a contract. DVD thumbs through it.]
DVD - Well boss, erm...looks like everything is in order here. I guess
I'll go ahead and sign it.
Mathews - Yes, well...just get it over with, if you please.
DVD - Sure, Sure...
{DVD takes the pen and with a flourish signs his name. Both he and
Mathews stand and shake hands. Mathews sits down, as DVD backs towards
the door, thanking Mathews for the oppertunity to join the prestigious
ranks of the IWA. ]
DVD - erm, Thank you so much, Mr. Mathews...I won't let you down, I
promise!!
[Slowly, the door swings open behind him. A figure is standing in the
place of the door way. DVD backs up to the figure and reaches for the
door handle. He grabs something metal, and tries to turn it. However,
that something metal doesn't seem to want to turn. Maybe because that
metal thing is attached to a wooden stick? DVD turns around, pulling the
metal/wooden object into the room. The figure allows for the object to
move forward. Suddenly, as the light hits the object, DVD stops cold,
for the object...is...a...sledgehammer!!!]
DVD - WHAT THE ---
[He gets cut off by the figure, who steps into the room. He is wearing a
black leather jacket, with a jeans jacket vest on over it. He has blue
jeans on, and also is sporting a backwards leather cap. If you haven't
guessed already, the voice clues you in as to who in the blue hell this
guy is.]
Figure - I got some bid'ness with you boy...you have my trophy...and I
WANT IT BACK!!
[The figure, now revealed as Thunder, grabs DVD by the collar and
heave/spears him into Mathews' desk!! Thunder starts to pound the living
hell out of DVD, reigning down with rights and lefts. Thunder grabs his
sledgehammer and rams it into DVD's throat, applying all the pressure he
can muster!! DVD is gasping for breath but Thunder doesn't seem to care.
He continues to bear down. DVD is turning bright red but seems to be
trying to say something.]
DVD - Ooo...ow...
[Thunder grins.]
Thunder - Yeah you piece of crap. I'll be it hurts! But...come on punk,
ow is all you can muster!?
[Thunder keeps the pressure on, as VD tries again.]
DVD - ...enn!! ow....wen!!!
[Thunder pauses and relaxes a little.]
Thunder - WHAT?!
DVD - It was all Owen's plan. He wanted me to steal the trophy...
Thunder - And you complied with that limey bastard, you worthless
sonuvabitch!!
[Thunder stands on the desk, over DVD and raises the sledge high.]
Thunder - Nighty night, bitch boy!!
[Thunder drives the weapon straight down into DVD's chest. DVD coughs
and sputters up some blood. Thunder gets off the table and lines DVD up
in his sights. He takes a pace back, then spears the sledgehammer into
DVD's forehead!! Screaming in pain, DVD twitches on the desk, rolling
over on his side, putting his shoulder into plain view. Thunder smiles.]
Thunder - Gawd, you make this too easy...
[Thunder raises the sledge once again, and lowers the boom, or in this
case the sledge, into DVD's shoulder, with such force Mathews' desk
creaks with the blow. Thunder taps DVD to see if he is still concious,
but the table collapses. Thunder just laughs bitterly. He turns towards
the door with one idea in mind.]
Thunder - Next up...a little payback for that Pansy...OWEN!!!
{Mathews clears his throat and speaks up.]
Thunder - As great of an addition to the roster as you are, T, you will
have to pay for my desk. I can't have my furniture being destroyed, and
be expected to buy more outta my own pocket!! I ain't THAT rich!!
Thunder - FINE! Take it outta my check...I got work to do!
[Thunder storms out of the office, leaving Mathews all alone, with DVD
and his broken desk. He takes a look at the battered, brusied and
bleeding DVD, then dashes out of the office to find a janitor. The scene
fades.]
Jim Ross - Well, ladies
and gentlemen, we've got another barn burner here! Next up is the
newcomer Casper, against the old wiley veteran in the Heartbreak Kid,
Shawn Michaels. This should be a great one! Right, Bobby?
Heenan - STRIKE!
JR - Wrong federation there, Brain.
Heenan - Oh. Right, forgot about that. First show jitters and all!
JR - Whatever the case may be, let's go up to the ring.
Finkle - Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one
fall...
Heenan - Why does he keep telling people that all the time?
JR - It's his job.
["Simple Man" hits the PA and Casper comes out to a slight boo.]
Finkle - First, from Columbia, South Carolina! He weighs in at 246
pounds...he is Casper!
[Casper enters the ring and poses for the crowd to a mixed reaction.
"Sexy Boy" replaces "Simple Man" on the speakers and the crowd roars its
cheers as HBK struts down the ramp.]
Finkle - Aaaand his opponent, from San Antonio, Texas—
Heenan - You think the people really care where he's from?
JR - The people in San Antonio do.
Heenan - Well, who cares about them?
Finkle - ...weighing in at 234 pounds, "The Heartbreak Kid" Shaaaawn
Michaels!
[HBK enters the ring and flexes his muscles as the pyro shoots off
behind him, making camera flashbulbs in the audience everywhere start
popping. Casper gets sick of this very quickly and attacks HBK from
behind. The bell rings and the match begins.]
JR - Casper has to attack HBK during his posing! How sad is that?
Heenan - No, Ross, how SMART is that?
[Casper clubs HBK across the back several times and forces him back into
the corner. Casper fires a couple right hands before HBK blocks and
spins the situation around and boxing Casper in the corner before
referee Tim White has to break it up. The two grapple and Casper rolls
behind HBK, landing a reverse DDT on HBK. Casper drops an elbow across
the neck of Michaels and goes for the cover, but HBK kicks out at one.]
JR - Casper trying to end it early. Not a likely senario.
[Casper runs off the ropes and hits a perfect legdrop on Michaels'
neck.]
Heenan - You know what he's doing? He's going after the neck, softening
it up for his Equalizer 2K!
JR - That's not a bad idea, but he has to stay on the offensive.
[Casper locks a reverse chinlock on Shawn and squeezes down, trying to
strain the neck. Michaels pushes up and bridges up to his feet, then
falls and executes a chinbreaker to release the hold.]
JR - Good defense by HBK. Had to get out of that hold before it was on
too long.
[HBK is to his feet first and lifts up Casper. HBK lifts up Casper and
drops him with a belly-to-back suplex, and doesn't hesitate to jump to
his feet and stomp down on the stomach of Casper. HBK drops an elbow
across the ribs and then brings Casper back up to his feet. Casper jumps
up and gouges HBK's eyes.]
Heenan - Dirty move by Casper! I love it!
JR - You would.
Heenan - What's that mean?
JR - Oh, figure it out.
Heenan - I'm starting to get the feeling you don't like me.
JR - I couldn't warm up to you if we were creamated together, Brain.
[Casper goes for a clothesline and connects. HBK pops back up from the
impact, holding his neck and gets hit again. Michaels gets up a little
slower the next time and ducks a third clothesline. Casper follows
through and bounces off the ropes, running into a superkick from Shawn.
The force from Casper's charge and standing on one leg for the kick
knocks HBK back as well.]
JR - Sweet Chin Music!
Heenan - I don't think he got all of it Jim!
JR - Perhaps not, it was a desperation move.
[Michaels gets back up and stands in the corner, stomping his foot.]
JR - Uh-oh, here we go...
Heenan - Michaels warming up the band...
[Casper slowly gets to his feet and is nailed with Sweet Chin Music.]
Heenan - Oh! That's it! Good night to Casper! Jim Ross' mom has sung!
JR - My mother? What does that have to do with anything?
Heenan - You know, Ross. The old saying! The fat lady singing!
JR - Oh, shut up!
[HBK goes for the pin and gets the 1, 2, 3!] JR - That's all for that
match! Better luck next time Casper!
Heenan - If that's how he fights, he'll need it!
A little, (VERY little)
man hunt
[The scene opens to Thunder and a beautiful lady walking down the hall.
Thunder looks mad as ever, and the lady doesn't seem to want to get in
the way. She does, however, look like she could hold her own. At
5'10-ish, blonde, brown eyed, a pretty face and medium build, she's one
hot babe! Thunder calmly turns to her, surpressing his anger for a
moment.]
Thunder - Gwen, baby...why don't you wait here? I have some
unfinished...business I have to take care of. And it could get messy...
Gwen - Damnit, you NEVER let me come along!! Then again, spattered blood
would not look good on this outfit. Ok...ok, I'll stay back in the
locker room, but as soon as you're finished, you better come get me!!
Thunder - I will...I promise.
[Thunder gives Gwen a quick goodbye peck on the cheek, and resumes his
manhunt of Owen. Thunder comes to a doorway, with a knob. He sees the
doorknob turning and he gets a wide smile on his face. He grips his
sledge a bit tighter and waits for the door to open. When it does a
stage hand walks through. Thunder grabs him and throws him against the
wall, starting the attack. Thunder grabs the guy's head to punch him in
the face, and notices its not Owen Hart.]
Thunder - Wh--? Who the hell are you?!
Stagehand - A stagehand...
Thunder - Oh...
{Thunder shrugs and continues the beating anyway. As he completes the
ass-whooping he stands and screams Owen's name, as the camera fades to
black...]
Thunder - I"LL FIND YOU HART!!! MARK MY WORDS...I'll FIND YOUR ASS!!!
[The scene fades.]
[The scene opens
backstage. Vinny “the Chin” Esposito is seen standing at the curtain
with the TV title over his shoulder. Owen is there with him along with
Vinny’s three thugs. They’re all talking and having a good time just
before Vinny’s title defense. We pick up the conversation mid-stream.]
Owen: So I called him a weener and made T-shirts that said “Weener Club”
across the chest.
[Everyone laughs.]
Vinny: Aye, how much time left, Owen?
Owen: Any minute now, Vinny.
[Johnny “the Wall” runs up to the five of them. He puts an arm on Owen
and bends down trying to catch his breath.]
Owen: What is it, Johnny?
Johnny: [Breathing heavy] Owen… He’s after… He’s after you…
Owen: Who’s after me?
Johnny: …Tunduh… ‘E heard… it was you… dat set ‘em up… and got ‘is
trophy stolen… E’s already… beat da livin’ hell… outta DVD… Dey tink E’s
been taken atta da sport… fa good.
Owen: Damnit! I can’t go out there to the ring now! He’ll know where I
am!
Vinny: Aye, don’t even worry abou dit, Owen. I’ll have Pinky, Knuckles,
and Tony watch da curtain. No one’ll get trew deh. You’ll be safe wit me
down at ringside.
Owen: …OK …That’ll work.
[Vinny’s “Italian Mix” is heard in the arena.]
Vinny: Let’s roll. Johnny, why’s doughn chu stay wit dem and watch da
curtain.
Johnny: Whateva you say, bowess. Don’t let ‘em lose dat title, blondy.
Owen: I won’t.
[The six walk over to the curtain. Vinny and Owen step through while the
other four stay backstage and make sure no one goes through the
curtain.]
[Vinny and Owen continue down the ramp having already been announced.
When they pass by the ladder in the walkway, Vinny stops to test it out.
They then continue down to the ring. Vinny hops in while Owen stays on
the outside.]
Fink: And his opponent, weighing in at 280 pounds, he is… Bullet!
[“Hell’s Bells” hits in the arena. Bullet steps out onto the stage to
cheers. He walks down the ramp and tests out the ladder himself before
continuing down to the ring. He climbs in waits in his corner. The ref
takes the IWA Television title from Vinny. The cable drops down from the
rafters and he buckles it on. He then gives the signal to raise it back
up and it does. The bell then rings. Vinny and Bullet stand nose to nose
in the center of the ring having a stare down. The crowd is slowly
worked up to a frenzy. Vinny throws the first punch but Bullet blocks it
and hits Vinny with one of his own. Vinny staggers backward and takes a
few more punches in the process. Vinny leans against the ropes shaken a
bit. Bullet runs and clotheslines him out of the ring. Owen rushes over
to Vinny and picks him up. He gives him a few words of advice and a pat
on the back before telling Vinny to get back in the ring. Vinny rolls
back in the ring. Before he can get up Bullet goes to stomp him. Vinny
rolls quickly out of the way and drops Bullet across the middle rope
with a drop toehold.]
Heenan: Very nice! I bet Owen told him that was coming. Owen is a
genius!
King: You got that right. You gotta be a genius to hold onto the World
title for six months. He knows what his opponents will do before they
do.
Ross: Would you two stop kissing his ass? You only like him because he’s
one of the few people backstage who still talk to either of you.
King: No one asked you, Ross.
[Vinny jumps to his feet and bounces off the opposite ropes. He runs
back and jumps to land across the shoulders of Bullet who still has his
throat draped across the middle rope. Bullet moves just in time. Vinny
crotches himself on the middle rope. He dances around the ring for a
moment holding himself. Vinny turns and receives a hard clothesline from
Bullet. Bullet then stomps him a few times for good measure. He points
at Owen and begins bad mouthing him. Bullet hops out of the ring and
walks right past Owen down the aisle. He grabs the ladder and folds it
up. He gets it back to the ring and tries to slide it in under the
bottom rope. Owen stares a hole through Bullet before losing control of
his anger and giving him a stiff forearm to the back of the neck. Bullet
drops down to a knee. Owen stomps Bullet a few times then backs away as
soon as the ref begins yelling at him. Vinny gets to his feet in the
ring and pulls the ladder the rest of the way in. He sets it up in the
center of the ring and puts his foot on the first rung. Outside the
ring, Owen backs all the way up to the barricade. A fan pats him on the
shoulder. Owen, paranoid about Thunder, turns quickly with a fist drawn
back. Owen realizes it was just a fan and moves away from the guardrail
so it won’t happen again.]
Ross: Owen looks a little worried out there. That “genius” almost
knocked a fan’s lights out.
Heenan: Oh shut up, Ross.
[Vinny climbs a few more rungs before Bullet climbs in the rings and
grabs his foot. He jerks Vinny of the ladder. His head connects with one
of the rungs on the way down. Vinny staggers around in a circle dazed.
Bullet grabs Vinny and hip tosses him into the ladder. Vinny hits it
awkwardly taking it down and landing on it hard. He rolls off holding
his shoulder. Bullet grabs the closed ladder and slams it down on Vinny
as hard as he can. Vinny rolls around on the mat in a world of hurt.
Bullet grabs the ladder and leans it against the corner. He picks Vinny
up and Irish whips him. Vinny reverses it at the last minute and sends
Bullet hard into the ladder. Bullet staggers out of the corner where
Vinny floors him with a clothesline. Vinny grabs the ladder and puts his
head between the two middle rungs. As Bullet gets to his feet, Vinny
spins around and around. Vinny eventually gets close enough to cold @#%$
Bullet with an end of the ladder. Vinny stops and drops the ladder.
Unfortunately, he’s too dizzy to set the ladder up and climb it. He
stumbles and falls through the ropes to the outside. Owen again rushes
over and help him up.]
Ross: Now there’s brains.
Heenan: Hey, he knocked Bullet out didn’t he? I say being a little dizzy
is a small price to pay.
King: Quiet you two. Owen is giving Vinny some more great advice.
[Vinny rolls back into the ring still a little dazed. He grabs the
ladder and wedges it between the top and middle rope in the corner. He
grabs Bullet and Irish whips him into the corner. Bullet’s back hits the
ladder hard. Vinny then charges in for a spear but Bullet moves. Vinny
spears the ladder and pays for it. Now both shoulders are in a
tremendous amount of pain. Bullet takes the ladder out of the ropes and
sets it up in the same corner. He then takes Vinny down with a slam.
Bullet then climbs to the top rope. He leaps OVER the standing ladder
and hits a splash on Vinny. Both men are in pain after that one. The
impact of the splash causes the ring mat to bounce which tips the ladder
over from it’s position of leaning in the corner. Luckily, Bullet never
rolled off of Vinny after the splash so the ladder falls directly onto
Bullet. Vinny squirms out from under Bullet and the ladder. He sets it
up in the center of the ring yet again. He begins climbing, but slowly
after taking such a beating. The boos grow louder and louder as Vinny
climbs. He reaches up to grab the title… but he needs to climb one more
rung… He puts his foot up… He climbs it… But all the sudden Bullet tips
the ladder over. Vinny is hot shotted across the top rope.]
Heenan: No! No! He almost had it!
Ross: You got, Bullet! Just set the ladder up!
[Bullet groggily pulls the ladder back up to a standing position. He
climbs the first rung but realizes Vinny isn’t going to stay down long
enough. Vinny approaches the ladder but instead of pull Bullet down, he
climbs the other side. It’s a slow race to the top. Both need to climb
one more rung to be within an arms reach of the TV title. They exchange
a few punches. The ladder wobbles. They continue slugging it out. The
ladder finally topples over. Bullet nails the ropes hard but Vinny is
dangling from the cable. All he has to do is reach his other hand up and
grab the TV title. He tries to do just that but it is in an awkward
position. He can’t pull the straps apart without lifting the belt higher
on the cable. While he struggles with that, Bullet gets to his feet and
picks up the ladder. He swings it at Vinny like a pińata. He misses the
first few times but finally connects with Vinny. Vinny almost falls but
keeps clinging to the cable. Now holding his stomach in pain, he’s a
sitting duck. Bullet takes a few more swings and finally knocks Vinny
from the cable. He comes crashing down.]
Heenan: Quick Bullet, grab the candy!
Ross: Grab the candy? What are you talking about?
Heenan: Oh, you mean he wasn’t a pińata?
[All the sudden, Thunder jumps over the guardrail. Owen turns to see
what the fans explode with cheers about and sees Thunder coming at him.
Owen slides into the ring and runs straight through. Thunder does the
same just a few steps behind Owen. They run a lap around the ring, then
Owen slides back in. He stops in the corner and turns back. Thunder
stops and smiles. Owen drops to a knee and pleads with Thunder. Bullet
grabs Thunder by the shoulder and spins him around. Bullet yells telling
him to get out of the ring during his match. Bullet gives him a little
help with a push. Thunder pushes back and the two have a stare down. The
two then launch into an all out brawl. They lock up and spin in circles
a few times before tumbling through the ropes to the outside. Owen grabs
the ladder and sets it up quickly. He scales it and grabs the TV title.
He jumps down and hands it to Vinny. The bell rings but Bullet is too
immersed in his battle with Thunder to notice. Owen and Vinny high tail
it up the ramp.]
Fink: The winner of this match and STILL IWA Television Champion… Vinny
“the Chin” Esposito!
[With that, Thunder and Bullet freeze. Thunder takes off up the ramp
after Owen but they’re already long gone.]
[The scene opens backstage. Owen and Vinny burst through the curtain
just after Vinny’s match has concluded. They don’t stop to tell Pinky,
Knuckles, Tony, and Johnny and happened. The four just chase after Owen
and Vinny. They run down a hallway but Owen freezes. Vinny stops to see
what the deal is so the rest stop as well.]]
Vinny: Aye, Owen! What gives! Let’s get da hell atta hee-uh.
Owen: I have an idea to keep Thunder at bay.
Johnny: What?
Owen: We kidnap Gwen.
Johnny: So’s the way you’s wanna keep Tunduh away from us is ta kidnap
‘is woman? Call me crazy but I tink dat would do da opposite of what we
want.
Owen: No, don’t you see? We have Pinky, Knuckles, and Tony keep an eye
on her 24/7. Then when Thunder sees us at the arena, he won’t lay a
finger on us for something just might happen to poor ole Gwen.
Johnny: Ahhh, I like da way you tink, blondy. Pinky, Knuckles, Tony,
you’s help Owen get Gwen. Me an’ Vin ‘ill go get da limo. We’ll be
waitin’ fa ya in da back.
Owen: K. Let’s go.
[Vinny and Johnny run off in one direction while Owen and the three
thugs look for Thunder’s dressing room. When they find it they kick the
door in. They find Gwen alone on the other side. She lets out a scream.
The scene changes back to Thunder. He’s in a hall looking for Owen and
Vinny but has slowed now that he’s lost site of them. He peeks his head
in doors hoping he comes across them. He walks through another door
without looking overhead to notice the glowing “Exit” sign. He finds
himself in the parking garage. He hears a commotion and looks over to
see Owen bust through another exit. Behind him is the three thugs, one
carrying Gwen. Thunder yells at them but they’re already to their limo.
He runs in their direction but the limo speeds away.]
The Fink: Our next match
is for contendership to the IWA WORLD heavyweight championship!
Introducing first, weighing in at 254 pounds, from Oakland, California…
Primetime Sanders!
[“Here He Comes” hits in the arena. The fans get on their feet and boo.
Primetime steps through the curtain with a big smile on his face. He
happily takes the boos from the crowd. Emmitt steps through the curtain
shortly after. He accompanies Primetime down to the ring. Primetime
climbs the stairs and enters through the ropes while Emmitt takes his
place on the outside.]
The Fink: And his opponent, weighing in at 232 pounds, Fighting out of
Charlotte, North Carolina… Jeff Hardy!
[The Hardyz theme hits. The fans jump to their feet excitedly and cheer
Jeff. He steps out onto the stage with a glare on his face. He locks it
onto Primetime in the ring who has his back turned, leaning over the top
rope speaking with Emmitt. Jeff charges down the ramp and slides into
the ring. He jumps to his feet and begins hammering Primetime from
behind with forearm after forearm. The bell rings.]
Heenan: Looks like we’re officially underway!
Ross: It would appear so, wouldn’t it, Bobby?
[Primetime finally gets turned around but instantly drops to one knee.
Jeff punches the downed Primetime in the face a few times. Primetime
falls back, leaning against the bottom turnbuckle. Jeff pulls Primetime
to his feet by the hair. He boots him in the gut and grabs him in a DDT
position. He yells out, signaling for the Twist of Fate. Emmitt jumps up
on the apron and screams at Jeff. Jeff lets go of Primetime and nails
Emmitt in the face with a hard right. Emmitt tumbles down off the apron
to the floor. The crowd lets out a deafening cheer. Jeff turns back to
Primetime but is poked in the eye out of desperation. The ref turns back
to the action after momentarily checking on Emmitt. Primetime grabs Jeff
and executes a quick short-arm clothesline. Both men hit the mat and
remain there for a moment.]
Ross: It was almost over just like that. I gotta pick Jeff to win this
one. After a full career in the NFL and a few years in pro-wrestling,
Primetime is far past his prime. He’s lost a step and that’s going to
mean a lot when you’re in the ring with someone as talented as Jeff
Hardy.
King: Are you an idiot, Ross? Sure, Primetime may not be what he was a
few years ago but he’s still great! And even after years and years of
abuse in the NFL, he can still get in the ring and put on a great match.
Heenan: You’re damn right, King. Most guys have trouble getting out of
bed after they’re done in the NFL. He’s getting in the ring and kicking
some major ass. This one belongs to Primetime because he obviously has
desire to still be in there. And when you have Emmitt on the outside…
You can’t lose.
[Both men are finally back to their feet. They lock up for the first
time. Primetime easily backs Jeff into a corner. The ref goes to break
the two, where Primetime gets in a cheap punch to the face behind the
ref’s back. Jeff stumbles out of the corner right into Primetime who
nails him with a scoop slam. Primetime bounces off the ropes and comes
down with an elbow drop right to the chest of Hardy. He goes for the
win. …1 …2 …Jeff kicks out right in time. Primetime gets to his feet
pulling Hardy up with him. He suplexes Jeff back to the mat. Primetime
pulls Jeff to a standing position. He puts Jeff’s head between his legs
and motions for the powerbomb. Jeff backdrops Primetime over and falls
to one knee. He gets to his feet and hops up to the middle rope. He
yells out and jumps off landing a perfect leg drop across the throat of
Primetime. He hooks the leg. Emmitt slides in the ring as the ref drops
into position. …1 …2 …Emmitt stomps the lower back of Jeff. The ref
jumps to his feet and begins pushing Emmitt.]
Ross: Damnit! Jeff had the match won!
Heenan: Ha! Look at Hebner trying to act tough.
King: He better act smart and knock it off before Emmitt smacks him.
[The ref keeps trying to get Emmitt to leave the ring but Emmitt just
acts like he doesn’t know that he’s done anything wrong. Primetime rolls
over and gets on all fours. He shakes off the leg drop. Hardy walks over
and grabs Primetime by the hair. Primetime looks up and nails Jeff with
a low blow. Emmitt finally exits the ring. The ref turns back to the
action to find Primetime setting Jeff up for a powerbomb. Primetime
pulls the move off and lays across Jeff’s chest. …1 …2 …3!]
Ross: Damnit!
Heenan: I knew it!
King: So did I!
[Primetime groggily gets to his feet. The ref grabs his hand and holds
it up in victory. Primetime then falls back to the mat. Emmitt hops in
the ring and stands over Hardy. He bends over and points at Jeff, trash
talking him. Emmitt then helps Primetime to his feet and they leave to
“Here He Comes.”]
Fink: The winner of this match… Primetime Sanders!
Heenan: What a match we
just had.
King: You can say that again. Primetime has earned his shot at the
winner of this match.
Ross: Primetime earned nothing and you both know it. If Emmitt hadn’t
been there, Primetime would’ve been beaten in the first minute of that
match.
Heenan: Oh stop being a sore loser, Ross. Just because your pick didn’t
win…
King: I think we should just get to our next match. If our last one was
any indication, this one should be superb.
Heenan: Indeed. Take it away, Fink.
Fink: Introducing first, weighing in at 245 pounds, fighting out of
Brooklyn, New York… He’s the IWA World Heavyweight Champion… Jay Skillz!
[“A Place for My Head” hits in the arena. The fans get on their feet and
boo Jay as he steps out of the backstage area. He tosses the World title
over his shoulder and walks down the ramp. He climbs in the ring and
poses with his title belt. His theme cuts off as the Fink begins to
speak again.]
Fink: And his opponent, weighing in at 325 pounds, hailing form Vilinus,
Lithuania… “The Virus” Venom!
[“Down With the Sickness” hits in the arena. Venom steps out onto the
stage with Steph by his side. He walks down the ramp to a mixed
reaction. He climbs in the ring while Steph stays on the outside. The
ref takes the World title and holds it overhead as both men glare at
each other. The ref hands the title to the timekeeper as the bell rings.
Venom hops out of the ring and walks over to Steph. He takes her in his
arms and gives her a few quick kisses. He then climbs back in the ring.
The two circle each other for a moment. Jay then hops out of the ring.
He walks over to Steph and grabs her in a hug just as Venom did. Steph
struggles to break free but can’t. Just as Jay puckers up, Venom quickly
reaches over the top rope and grabs Jay by the hair. He pulls Jay up
onto the apron. Jay grabs Venom by the head with both hands and jumps
back down from the apron. Venom is hot shotted across the top rope. He
falls back grabbing his throat. Jay then pursues Steph again who’s
running around to the other side of the ring. All the sudden, the fans
begin to boo. Primetime is then seen walking down to ringside.]
Heenan: Jay really wants that kiss.
King: Can you blame him? He needs to get a few good luck kisses of his
own to cancel out Venom’s.
Ross: Oh wonderful. What’s that bastard want?
[Primetime walks over to the announce position and puts on a headset. He
has a seat next to Ross.]
Primetime: Just thought I’d come out and do a little scouting. You guys
don’t mind, do you? Didn’t think so.
[Venom gets to his feet to find Jay still after Steph. He runs and nails
Jay with a baseball slide. Jay is launched into the guardrail. The fans
get on their feet and give Jay a pat on the back while yelling excitedly
at the camera focused in on them. Venom hops out of the ring and grabs
Jay by the hair. He smashes Jay’s face into the barricade one, two,
three times. Jay is now bleeding from a cut on his forehead. Venom rolls
in the ring and back out again to restart the ten count. Venom rips away
some of the matting exposing the concrete floor. He turns and grabs Jay
by the hair again. He leads him over to the exposed arena floor. Venom
sets up for a powerbomb onto the concrete but Jay counters with a
backdrop. Venom slaps the concrete hard. He looks to be out cold. Jay
then drops to one knee. Steph, seeing her man’s shot at the World title
beginning to drift away, hops in the ring and removes one of her
high-heel shoes. Just as the ref yells out “9,” Steph clocks him from
behind with her shoe. The ref falls down out cold because he’s
apparently a woman.]
Heenan: Did you see that?
King: What did she have in that shoe!? A brick!?
Ross: No, you fool. Don’t you know a spike heel when you see one?
Heenan: How do you know so much about women’s shoes, Ross?
Primetime: That’s a good question, Bobby. Go ahead and answer him, Ross.
Ross: Let’s just get back to the match.
[Jay gets back to his feet and stomps Venom a few times. Steph hops out
of the ring and walks up to Jay. She jumps on his back and tries to
choke him out. Jay is able to shake off pretty easily. He turns around
and looks at her laying on the floor. She stares at him afraid to move a
muscle. He takes a step toward her and she jumps to her feet. She
scurries off but Jay follows. Meanwhile, Venom struggles to get to his
feet. He sees Jay after his woman again and becomes infuriated. He
throws the timekeeper out of the way and takes his chair. He folds it up
and ducks behind the stairs at the corner of the ring. Steph looks
scared as Jay continues to walk after her. Finally, Jay breaks out in a
full sprint. Steph does the same. Steph rounds the final cornering
making a full lap then stops. She looks and sees Venom crouched behind
the stairs clutching a chair. Just as Jay rounds the corner, Venom
stands and completely HAMMERS Jay with the chair. Jay hits the mat hard
and lays there motionless.]
King: My God! That was some shot!
Ross: I think Jay actually bounced off the floor.
Primetime: Gotta hand it to Venom there. I didn’t know if he’d be able
to make a comeback from that backdrop on the concrete.
[Venom walks over to the downed Skillz with the chair still in hand. He
stands over Jay and drives the chair into his gut a few times. Jay rolls
onto his side clutching his stomach in pain. Venom stomps him a few
times until Jay is on his stomach. He then bashes Jay in the chair a few
times with the chair. Venom then pulls Jay to his feet. He holds him up
by the hair. Steph walks over and looks at Venom. Venom shakes his head
“yes.” Steph then nods back and slaps the you-know-what out of Jay.
Venom rolls him in the ring and follows. Venom grabs the ref and shakes
him. The ref begins to come to. Jay gets to his feet and grabs Venom
from behind. He hits him with a hard full nelson slam. Both men lie on
the mat as the ref gets to his feet. …1 …2 …3 …4 …5 …6 …7 Jay gets to
all fours stopping the count. He crawls over to Venom and lays across
his chest. …1 …Venom kicks out after 1.]
Primetime: This one’s not over yet.
Ross: It’s been a tough one to call so far.
[Venom rolls outside the ring for a breather. Jay does the same on the
inside. Venom rolls back in the ring but Jay begins stomping him before
he can get to his feet. Jay pulls Venom to his feet by the hair. He
whips him into the ropes and takes him down with a big boot. Jay backs
up to the ropes and signals for the Savat kick. Venom slowly gets to a
knee. The crowd begins to boo heavily knowing the super kick is just
seconds away. Venom finally gets to his feet but Jay is struck from
behind by Steph’s high heel shoe. He drops to one knee holding his head.
He looks at his hand and sees the blood that’s now coming from the top
of his head. Venom sees his opportunity and charges at Jay. He hits the
Flash Magic, a knee to the face. The crowd gasps at the impact. Jay
falls over completely out of it. Venom drops down across his chest. …1
…2 …3! The bell rings. The timekeeper hands Hebner the World title. He
picks Venom up and holds his hand up. Venom takes the World title with
his free hand. He then drops to his knees clutching the title in front
of him.]
Ross: I don’t believe this!
Heenan: New champ! New champ!
King: I didn’t think Venom had it in him!
Primetime: You know what, guys? I’m going to do us all a favor and take
that anti-America punk out! Why? Because NO ONE trashes MY country!
Heenan: Kick his ass, Primetime!
[Primetime takes his headset off and grabs his chair. He then climbs in
the ring behind Venom. Venom stands, wiping tears of joy from his eyes.
Primetime approaches him and clobbers him with the chair. Venom does
down hard but Primetime doesn’t stop there. He bashes Venom time after
time with the chair. Steph jumps in the ring and pleads with Primetime
to stop. Finally she grabs the chair before Primetime can bring it down
for another shot. Jay, now a bloody mess after the vicious running knee
to the face, pulls Steph away. He looks at Primetime who just stares
back. Primetime hands the chair to Jay. Jay raises it above his head and
busts Venom a few times with it. Jay drops the chair and stomps Venom
along with Primetime. The scene goes off the air with Venom being
completely dismantled while Steph lies on the floor watching with tears
streaming down her face. The screen turns black then the IWA logo slowly
fades in.]
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